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2010-03-11T02:49:00.001-08:00

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Transitions Abroad Expatriate Travel Writing Contest

2010-02-01T07:28:00.004-08:00

TransitionsAbroad.com is inviting expat writers to enter its 2010 Expatriate Travel Writing Contest.

Professionals, freelancers and aspiring writers are invited to write articles which describe their experience living abroad. Often an experience abroad may be extended by working or studying in the host country. Living, working, and studying abroad are often inextricable so judges are interested in these aspects as well.

The site is an unbelievable resources for expats and writers alike. If you want more info on the contest go directly to this link and good luck!

FAWCO Conference March 11-14 2010 in Boston

2010-02-01T07:21:00.003-08:00

In other news involving the Federation of American Women's Clubs Overseas , members from clubs around the world will be gathering in Boston in mid-March.

Representatives from the FAWCO clubs meet annually to discuss and adopt resolutions which will direct FAWCO’s activities for the coming year on issues such as overseas voting, dual-citizenship, environmental concerns, literacy, women’s health, and human rights. The FAWCO Foundation announces its Education Award and Development Grant recipients at the meeting.

The conference also offers practical training sessions in organizational development and leadership, which the delegates may use to strengthen their own organizations.

Clements International 2010 Expat Youth Scholarship

2010-02-01T07:07:00.002-08:00

The deadline for entries has been set for May 2010 for this year's Clements International Expat Youth Scholarship. Winners will be announced in mid-September.

The contest, for third culture kids to write about and come up with multi-media presentations about their young mobile lives, once again has as its theme "Life in a Flying House" which inspired some amazing contributions last year.

You can download all the information--and rewards--for entering the contest at this link.

Some of the entries last year made fascinating reading (you can find them on the site) and certainly made it difficult to judge a winner, that was for sure, as last year I had that honour along with representatives from the Foreign Service Youth Foundation and the Federation of American Women's Clubs Overseas.

"The Unofficial Diplomat: A Memoir"

2010-01-17T09:45:00.004-08:00

Nothing made me happier than when Joanne Grady Huskey succeeded in publishing her extraordinary story and experiences as the wife of an American diplomat in China, India and Kenya. "The Unofficial Diplomat: A Memoir" (New Academia Publishing) released in late 2009 was truly twenty years in the making.

I met Joanne when we were both posted in Beijing, China in the early 1990s. But I arrived a year after that country's political turning point of 1989 and the crackdown in Tiananmen Square. Joanne, however, was right in the thick of it and writes superbly about the events people only saw from CNN. She offers perspective literally from the ground level. I also was fortunate to carry on some of her work with the Beijing International Volunteers, which she created to assist with disabled Chinese orphans (many of whom had the sole disability of being girl-babies.) The first time I saw the youngsters performing in wheel chairs was extraordinarily moving, and it was all due to Joanne's fine work (her own background is in dancing) and committment to them.

From China, Joanne and her family moved to India (where she started a cross-cultural business and what eventually became the American School of Chennai where coincidentally, I lectured in 2008!) and to Kenya, where she once again got caught up in political events when the American Embassy in Nairobi was bombed. As a writer (and not Joanne's stalker!) I would say these kinds of circumstances lead to great reportage but Joanne never exploits her experiences, but rather informs and enlightens the reader of both world events in the larger view, and daily life for a diplomatic spouse in more intimate day-to-day living matters.

Not only does she advance 'the cause' by educating those who think diplomatic and expat wives are just along for the ride as 'expensive luggage' (the designation I used to cheekily write on my landing cards when I was a not-terribly-diplomatic-Canadian foreign service spouse), but she is an extremely intelligent writer who asked a lot of question, and always engaged fully in the culture of her host countries. She tried to be an agent of change, unofficially of course.

Naturally, I couldn't resist sending off a few questions to Joanne by e-mail so she could give readers of ExpatExpert a bit more insight into how the book came about:

EE: Joanne, you've talked about writing this book for years! What finally made you sit down and just do it?

JGH: The fifteenth anniversary of the U.S. Embassy bombing in Nairobi, and the twentieth anniversary of the massacre in Tiananmen Square in China came within less than a year. Commemorating these two major historical events was finally the impetus for getting my book out. I felt that the Chinese government had all but succeeded in sweeping the truth of Tiananmen under the rug, and many young people in China and elsewhere had no idea what happened there. I felt it was important to yet again tell the story of what happened in June 1989 in China, so people will know the truth. Equally important was the story of the Embassy bombing in Kenya. For many Americans, Africa is far away and the bombing of the US Embassy there hardly registered. I believe it was a critical turning point in the efforts of Al Queda to terrorize Americans, and again, I wanted the truth of the event to be known. Beyond that, it was the encouragement of my friends, you included, Robin, that pushed me to finally complete the book.

EE: Of so many highlights of your career as an unofficial diplomat, can you name your absolute favourite (or most satisfying) moment?

JGH: There have been many satisfying moments -- seeing my business in India grow, seeing the children in the American School in India happily studying, but perhaps one of the most satisfying moments was seeing Theresa Karanja, a Kenyan victim of the Embassy bombing, whose rehabilitation I had funded, come back after many months of rehabilitation in South Africa. When she left Kenya she had given up on life, when she returned, she beamed with hope and determination. It was a moment of healing for her and for me, Kenyan and American, both victims of that atrocity joined together to prove that the terrorists would not succeed.

EE: Do you think other 'unofficial diplomats' get the credit they deserve? If yes, by who?? If no, why not?

JGH: Absolutely not! So many people do amazing things that make this earth a better place and never get any recognition or credit for what they do. The supporting family members of diplomats, business people, journalists, and others living overseas often are never applauded for all that they do. I wrote this book partly to make a statement that the "unofficial diplomats" often do as much, or more, than the "official" ones to promote international understanding and peace. I hope that message comes across in the book, loud and clear.

Yes, Joanne, it does come through loud and clear! The book can be ordered through amazon.com at this link.

Time to Sign up for Families in Global Transition

2010-01-13T14:38:00.002-08:00

Registration is open now for Families in Global Transition in Houston March 4-6th. I simply cannot say enough good things about this conference.

If you are working with expatriate families, you can't afford to miss this annual meeting. The content will overwhelm you!

Robin Pascoe's books all now available in e-book format!

2009-12-18T07:41:00.012-08:00

My holiday present to myself: I've just worked my brains out to convert all of my titles into e-book format as well as still offering the real deal (print, that is!) Oh what a technological headache this was: but for people who don't want to wait for shipping, customs etc etc, you can download any one of my titles now from Powell's on line bookstore. They can be downloaded from anywhere in the world! Hurray!

They are all in Adobe e-book format and require you download for free Adobe Digital Editions. But the format is also compatible with Sony E-reader for those who get one for Christmas.

Still left is Amazon.com's Kindle....but that will have to wait until Amazon.com decides to let publishers other than American ones get on board. Right now, as a Canadian publisher, I'm shut out from Kindle along with publishers from every other country in the world!

But if you find out this holiday season that you are being posted, or are considering it, you can read all about it by downloading any of my books.

Should I Stay or Go?

2009-11-25T14:30:00.003-08:00

I love the subtitle of this new book from journalist Paul Allen who runs the website ExpatLiving101. It's: "The Truth About Moving Abroad and Whether it's Right for You."

I love it because over the years, I have met so many people who have such unrealistic expectations about a global relocation. This e-book will open up many people's eyes to the realities, good and bad, of an international move.

Citing recent surveys and numerous other resources, anyone thinking about taking the giant leap will not be doing it into the complete unknown as the reader can find a reference to every aspect of the move. My pal Jo Parfitt writes a great introduction as well!

For those of you who know someone contemplating a move but uncertain if it's the right decision, it can be ordered off Paul's website which also provides tons more information about the contents of the book.

Sabbaticals 101: A Practical Guide for Academics and Their Families

2009-11-25T14:10:00.003-08:00

You have to love the inter-connected world we live in. When Nancy Matthews, the author of this wonderfully pratical how-to book for academics Sabbaticals 101 first contacted me, we discovered she not only was a fellow Canadian, but her hometown family doctor was the former partner of my brother the doctor! Only in Canada...

Nancy and her husband David are currently living her words: on sabbatical in New Zealand since September and as she put it, taking all her own advice from paperwork before and after, to taking the kids, to taking a break! As she writes in her introduction, "After five overseas sabbaticals and exchanges, I've found what works--and what doesn't." She shares all that knowledge in a very readable, accessible way. Think of it as a road map.

While aimed at an academic market, the book is extremely useful to any family pulling up stakes for a year as Nancy combines her own stories with extremely useful advice. Still time to order a copy as a Christmas present for anyone you know taking a sabbatical in 2010!

Expat life and social media sites

2009-11-04T10:22:00.004-08:00

I am feeling incredibly 20th century lately as I continue to navigate (with the help of a lot of advil) the Internet for all the information and support now offered--in the 21st century--via social media websites like Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn (the ones I do know). Of course there are also expat social media sites, many of them to be found in my links section.

The reason I mention this, besides the obvious that social media is not going away, is that for expats, it's almost impossible to find everything that is out there and these sites are all guideposts. People post links to such interesting articles you may never have found on your own. And, on Facebook, there are speciality expat pages (including my own for this site) and on LinkedIn there are expatriate 'chat' groups (shall I call them 'wall groups')?

In other words, so many more ways to feel connected, find like-minded souls, and find excellent information straight from people living the life!

One cautionary word though (the same advice I give when I'm lecturing) is that while these are all marvellous tools for the reasons I just gave above, remember that living abroad means making new friends in the 'here and now', not just in cyberspace. So be careful how much time you spend ignoring the new culture outside your door in favour of the one on your screen!

And finally, limit your teenagers time with friends 'at the last place'. A good tip for parents (another idea picked up along the way on a lecture tour) to control your teen's time on line: turn off the wireless router in your house at 11pm. Works like a charm!

The new "Expat Harem" website

2009-11-04T10:18:00.005-08:00

The dynamic women behind the book and the website Expat Harem have re-launched the site as a 'neocultural hub for global citizens and identity adventurers'. That's a mouthful to be sure but the new version of the site allows for guest posters and links to other cultural sites. Definitely worth having a look!

Important lecture series on domestic violence abroad

2009-10-02T12:08:00.006-07:00

Paula Lucas of the American Domestic Violence Crisis Line (tel: 866-USWOMEN) will spend this month and next launching the first phase of her organization's Global Campaign to Empower Americans Abused Abroad.

Lucas will be presenting in London, Amsterdam, Frankfurt, Copenhagen, Paris & Geneva on dates (and more information and the educational lecture series) to be listed here.

I contacted Paula to find out who is helping her on this very important and much-needed initiative.

"The Ending Violence Against Women & Children Task Force of FAWCO has been our partner in organizing these events," said Lucas. "FAWCO (and that's the Federation of American Women's Clubs Overseas) in general, AARO and ACA have also been very helpful getting the venues donated. The funding came from the Oak Foundation of Switzerland with air transportation from the USA to London provided by Virgin Atlantic Airways.

Lucas will be presenting at both the morning information sessions and afternoon volunteer outreach ambassador trainings. They will also have someone from each Embassy presenting on what they can do to assist American victims of domestic violence and a member of the Ending Violence Against Women & Children Task Force will speak.

Support Paula's fine work.

Book Review of Courting the Bull: An Anthology of Expatriate Literature in Spain

2009-09-30T11:50:00.014-07:00

It’s been a while since I reviewed or noted an expatriate book in this space, but this collection from Spain for some reason caught my eye, much in the same way that the stories of women living in Turkey collected in Expat Harem also attracted me when it came out several years ago.

Editor Sarah Rogers has a great quote in her introduction to this marvellous and vivid collection of poetry, essays and fiction (one short story in particular, "Gate 38", really got my attention) which she gathered for “Courting the Bull: An Anthology of Expatriate Literature in Spain”. In my opinion, her words nicely capture the nature of expatriate literature:

“Expatriate literature blends the worlds the writer has emerged from and the world the writer now lives in. In Spain, that heady cocktail is then spiked with a complementary, sometimes interchangeable and sometimes hostile multiculturalism – a necessary and exceptional cross fertilization of life and art.”

I sent Sarah a few questions to give readers some background to the book (and perhaps some inspiration to edit an anthology where they are living, since there are so many excellent writers in your midst) and here is the exchange we had:

ExpatExpert: Why did you decide to edit this volume?

Sarah Rogers: I’ve always been interested in expat literature, and now as an adult I’ve chosen to make my home in Spain, so I suppose editing this book is my personal tribute to both Spain and to the expat writers that populated my childhood.

EE: The experiences (and genres in which they are expressed such as poetry and essays) are so diverse. Was it difficult to make final selections for the volume?

SR: I think the fact that there’s so much variety is one of the book’s strengths. There are stories that make you laugh but there are also things in the book that are beautiful and things that make you think. It was difficult to make the final selections for the book, and at times I questioned my own judgment, but it was a learning process for me as well.

EE: In making your selections was there a particular theme you were trying to tie the volume together with?

SR: I wanted to capture that sense of existing in multiple worlds simultaneously that is so common and essential to expat life. That sense of multiplicity, multiple identities, multiple choices…

EE: Is Spain an inspiring location for expatriate writers? If so, why?

SR: Absolutely. Spain really is a fascinating, freeing place to be – a welcoming place that has a lot of interest in the arts.

EE: Will this volume resonate with expats (and expat writers) in other locales? Again, if so, why?

SR: Definitely. There are tales of language mishaps and people who fall in love and build lives in new environments, but there are also stories about the expectations one has or the choices we must make as expats (such as to go or to stay, or even what to do with ourselves). Or what it means to be an insider or an outsider. I think expats around the world – whether in Japan, Argentina, or Spain – will be able to relate to all these things.

I’ve linked the title to the publisher’s website for purchase, but it’s for sale at all the amazons as well.

The 7 habits of highly effective expat women

2009-09-11T09:10:00.001-07:00

I came across this terrific article posted on the blog for Expat Women in Brussels written by international life coach Anne Egros.

The article is cheekly entitled The 7 habits of highly effective expat women and not only gives some valuable advice for settling in which I highly endorse, there are links to some of my favourite expat websites! Check it out.

Who knew Julia Child was an expat wife?

2009-08-31T16:19:00.002-07:00

Anyone who hasn't yet had the chance to see the brilliant new Nora Ephron-directed movie "Julie and Julia" about the life of Julia Child must simply go. Not only for the incredible performance by acting goddess Meryl Streep (is there any role she can't perform brilliantly?) but because you will discover that her famous cook book grew out of her frustration in the role of an American diplomatic spouse with too much time on her hands in Paris. So she took cooking classes and the rest is history.

There's one particularly aha! scene where her first manuscript for her now classic French cook book was rejected, her husband was being posted to another city in France, and she said, as many an expat wife before her has said: "Now what am I going to do?" I almost jumped out of my seat! She used almost the exact wording of the title of the fourth chapter of my original book for expat wives which I just re-issued as "A Broad Abroad".

Not everyone who moves overseas for a partner's job and has abandoned a career will write a ground-breaking book as Ms. Child did: but her experience should prove inspirational that while old jobs may be left behind, new ventures can be undertaken with great delight.

A Broad Abroad on sale on line!

2009-07-24T08:31:00.008-07:00

I'm celebrating today as "A Broad Abroad: The Expat Wife's Guide to Successful Living Abroad" (my book for expat wives formerly known as "Culture Shock! A Wife's Guide") is back in print, revised with new cover and title, and for sale at amazon.com for now (it should be at all the amazons shortly).

You can even read an excerpt from the new introduction I wrote for it.

Spread the word and order your copy at the American amazon at this link! Hurray!

Requests for interviews with the expat expert

2009-07-06T08:38:00.005-07:00

I suppose this is the expected fallout when your website is linked all over the Internet. Every journalist on the planet, it often seems, doing a story about expats seems to call or write to me for an interview.

The latest one came in while I was away recently (see "Turning off the noise in my life") and it came from none other than Playboy Magazine. Apparently they are doing a story along the lines of "How to be an expat" and woke up my visiting daughter with a phone call at 5 am Vancouver time (and she thought it must surely be a joke!) If I had been home, my first tip to the reporter on how to be an expat would be to understand time zones.

Having said that, I am supposed to call this guy back. Ya right, on my nickel. Someone like me, who writes books for expat women and families, is just the perfect interview subject for a girlie magazine. Oh right, it's all about the articles.

Many of you may be aware that I have been a journalist for over 35 years so I know very well how the business works (which is probably why I don't engage in mainstream reporting anymore which everyone knows is hearing the death knell anyway). Here's how it plays out: journalists call, or often, if it's an expat-related story and I want the press to know about it, I contact them. I can then spend up to several hours on the phone with them; give them background info and all the people they need to interview; or keep them abreast of any breaking developments on the story. In other words, short of writing the article for them, I do most of their homework for them.

Not any more.

If you read the article I posted below about Canadian citizenship rules, you won't find me or any of my informed comments on the subject mentioned in the story, even despite it being my own local paper. I won't say it was hours wasted because I believe in the subject. But I've reached the end of the line with reporters. Reading that latest one in the Vancouver Sun (and there were three parts) it was galling to find myself referred to merely as the 'friend' who told her friend that her grandchildren may be losing their right to hold Canadian citizenship instead of the person who contributed a heck of a lot to the story (and that's an understatement).

So attention journalists: don't bother me anymore. Unless Playboy wants to go out of business by requesting a nude centrefold of a 56-year-old post-menopausal woman (what are the chances?) I'm not doing anyone's homework anymore.

More on Canadian citizenship rules and fallout for expats

2009-07-06T08:36:00.007-07:00

While I was away, the Vancouver Sun ran three articles relating to the changes in the Canadian citizenship rules and one in particular reported on the fallout on expats. The story dealing most directly with expats can be read here.

This was the first article in the series . And here was the final installment.

Global assignments on the decline says survey

2009-06-14T10:52:00.003-07:00

A new survey reports that the number of international assignments will drop in 2009. Sixty-seven per cent of 180 companies surveyed by Brookfield Global Relocation Services say they will be decreasing the number of employees they relocate internationally or allow the numbers of their expatriates to remain the same. Highlights of the survey can be read on line here but let me offer up a few so I can throw in my own two cents worth of opinion:

• 92% of the companies surveyed report that family concerns remain the overwhelming reason for assignment refusal or failure.

• The top three challenges for family are adjustment and partner resistance (which tie at 15%) and education (13%).

• The top reason for assignment failure (56%) was spousal dissatisfaction.

• The majority of those who will now get assignments abroad will be employees in their 40s or 50s. Only 9% of new expatriates are in their 20s, the lowest number reported in the survey’s 14-year history.

So what's my opinion? Glad you asked.

Another survey, more numbers, lots of reporting and coverage about these numbers…..and as always, the human dimension of relocation, examined in my own 2008 relocation survey Family Matters! (in which people reported, not companies) is left out. The giant elephant in the room—and that would be marriage—is ignored yet again. You would think numbers are moving, not people, families, even pets.

Anyone who has read the entire report on the results of my survey (offered free on my home page) knows that I only confirmed what I already knew from traveling the globe to reassure expats in the field about their relationships and families: marriage is the biggest stressor contributing to that ambiguous catch-all phrase of ‘family adjustment’.

Are you married or raising kids? If yes, you know very well that the 40s and 50s (now apparently the chosen years for upcoming international assignments) are the toughest decades in general to remain married and survive the troublesome teenage years of your children followed by empty nest which leads many couples to bail on their marriages.

Now take those issues and move them abroad. Does a rocket scientist need to figure this out? And did I forget to mention that women in the 40s and 50s finally have a crack at a career or are hitting their stride so they don’t want to move when finally, they are being given their chance to have a professional life (if that’s their choice?)

So remember you read it here (I’m beginning to sound like a Canadian hockey commentator most of us can’t stand but more often than not, he’s right): by next year, any company which follows the path they are reporting to take in this survey, will see more not less assignments fail. Companies will lose more money and there will be more hand wringing over all of this.

It is so utterly unnecessary if the people who conduct these surveys asked realistic questions and looked that giant elephant squarely in the eye. As I concluded in my survey, statistics do not tell the entire story about international relocation and especially as they relate to families.

Companies who ignore the human dimension of relocation, I stress again and again but clearly I am howling at the moon, do so at their own financial peril.

Great new book on cross-cultural mothering

2009-05-13T13:22:00.004-07:00

When I was in South East Asia in March, I was asked numerous times at my lectures if there were any books for parents in cross-cultural marriages raising kids....and I had totally forgot (brain freeze with age!) that I had written an advance review for a new anthology called "Call Me Okaasan: Adventures in Multicultural Mothering" edited by writer Suzanne Kamata. Here's the testimonial I contributed, which works best to describe how I felt about the book:

"The contributors to this lovely and almost lyrical anthology of mothering far from home, face all the regular roadblocks of raising healthy and happy children and then some. This collection will resonate with so many expatriate families or those who have chosen to live abroad. More importantly, buried in the narratives are many true gems of wisdom of cross-cultural mothering."

Author Kamata's website does not have a buying link yet to this book (just released last week) but I noticed it's available for sale at both Amazon.com as well as Amazon UK.

Expats looking for new jobs during overseas assignments

2009-04-23T14:02:00.003-07:00

That headline is just one of the significant findings released today by Yvonne McNulty, PhD candidate and sought-after Human Resource presenter on the subject of expats and in particular, how expat return on investment is measured. Timely research for these days of economic uncertainty!

Read the Industry Report Yvonne released just today from her home base in Singapore.

Like many readers of this blog and website, I have been a fan of Yvonne's for years for her research posted at her website, appropriately named The Trailing Spouse and the results of her first published survey on the needs of the trailing spouse. But for the last number of years, she has been working on her PhD and she chose expat return on investment as her subject. This is a much-needed area of investigation and she has come up with some findings that surprised even her.

In an e-mail to me today when she sent me the link to her report, Yvonne said this:

"The really stunning finding is the high percentage (and I think 36% percent is very high)who are seeking external job opportunities during the assignment...We tend to think that the nature of expatriation binds employees to their employer, perhaps more so than domestic/non-expat employees, and that turnover really only happens during repatriation. There is decades worth of research on repatriation turnover, but nothing on turnover during an assignment."

There's so much more to read in the report so follow the link to it and pass it on to anyone you know, as another fantastic piece of the research is her narratives directly from expatriates themselves talking about their experiences. This is a report every global mobility manager, indeed anyone involved with expatriates, will need to read.

Most important of all, congratulations to Yvonne for doing this work on behalf of expats while she herself raises two small children in Singapore with a husband who travels!

Expatriate Writers and Journalists Group on LinkedIn

2009-04-10T14:49:00.006-07:00

I guess I never do anything by halves...But now that I'm trying to figure out how to use all the "social media" out there (it realy should be called "messing with my head and my writing time, media") I'm really getting into it. As usual, I've been biting off more than I can chew and then chewing like crazy!

So many expats ask me for writing and publishing advice (and I used to give a workshop on the road but found it was killing me!) that I started a Group for Expatriate Writers and Journalists on LinkedIn. You have to be a member of LinkedIn to join but after resisting it for so long, I've discovered this professional Facebook can be so interesting (and distracting, did I mention that?) that it's worth having a second look if you are over the age of 30....(not that there's anything wrong with being under 30....)

If you join, you can contact me through my LinkedIn profile (the icon is on the home page of this 20th century website!) or just use the contact form on this site to ask me more about it.

I'm not sure where the group is headed (or how much time I can reasonably devote to it) but I have found lately that many people are not only asking me questions about my books and articles, but I'm asked for interviews or asked to contribute to expat magazines from time to time....These are all opportunities I'm more than willing to pass onto others well-versed in the expat life (which is most of the people who read this blog regularly). As I tell the audiences I lecture to...you are all experts...

Likewise I'm trying to invite all the editors I've worked with over the years to join the group and post writing jobs when they can. I'm not making big promises, but having a place to ask questions, find people to interview (since a lot of expats are members) or connect with potential editors can't hurt, eh? And isn't connecting for others what this stuff is supposed to be all about?

Finding roots in a peripatetic life

2009-03-12T10:41:00.005-07:00

It can be done. Many of us who move (or have moved) around the globe making new friends, then enjoying those friends and then saying goodbye to those dear friends--all in the blink of an eye--think it's all over when the moving van arrives or the flight departs. My recent experience in Bangkok proved to me it doesn't have to be that way so allow me to share a bit of it.

I found my past in Bangkok while engaged in my present occupation of writing books for expats and lecturing about them and not, incidentally, yet again, contemplating my future!

I was in Bangkok just over a week ago (though I do feel I imagined my entire SEAsian speaking tour, it was such a blur of airports, hotels, and people). I had saved Bangkok for the end of the tour ('the best for last') because it's the place in my past which holds the most meaning for me. Rodney and I started out there, as a young foreign service couple living in a grand apartment way above our real fiscal means (which is why we drove a beat up old Canadian car which not only had freezer plugs hanging out the front of it, but frost shields on the windows which the Thais thought were bullet shields!) That car kept us grounded from an early stage in a life which offers anything BUT a feeling of having your feet firmly on the ground. Expat life is not called the 'country club life' for nothing!

In Bangkok on this trip, I finally found Diyal Mansion, our first apartment, after having lunch with my old Thai friend Amporn (who freaked me out by saying she and her dear husband Pum were celebrating their silver wedding anniversary this year....we had been to that wedding, 25 years ago! One of very few 'farangs' or foreigners honoured to be asked.) Amporn showed me where Soi 16 Sukumwit was now hidden (because of a huge new road, expressway almost, that runs through our old neighborhood). I had been looking early that morning (and remembering, oh ya, in Bangkok even your back sweats!) in the wrong spot. It turned out that I could actually see our old 'soi' or lane from my hotel window! I went charging out into the street once I spotted the lane and wandered down the street I had spent so many hours walking up and down way back when I was, literally, a kid...having a kid!

It looked both different and the same. Different because instead of passing a monk carrying a begging bowl as they used to back in my day, a monk did stroll by carrying a Toshiba laptop bag! Where "Man House", a massage parlour/bar once sat, there is a giant high rise with a Starbucks in it! The corner where I used to buy noodles or wicker furniture is now a Lexus dealership! But the apartment looked exactly the same. I could even look up at the balcony grating of our fourth floor apartment and picture our Bangkok baby Lilly (now pushing 26!) pointing at all the bird cages we kept out there. A prescient scene, since Lil is now in Cosa Rica for two months working on a bird project for her masters research! Who knew?

I also had dinner and spent some wonderful time at the home of my doctor who delivered Lilly, Dr. Tanit Habanananda, and his fantastic wife Mel who gave us pre-natal training. Of course, I remember them living in an isolated part of Bangkok which is now so built up, the cab driver got lost getting me there. But imagine seeing the people who helped bring your first child into the world, so far from home, all these years later. Mel was also the woman behind the creation of BAMBI an international mothers support group which started with about 10 of us (from her pre-natal class) and now has over 600 members a quarter of a century later (and a website!)

I spoke to BAMBI members at Samitivej Hospital (now used as a venue with a Starbucks!!) which happened to also be the hospital where Lilly was born. Again, who says you can't go home??? Mel had posted a picture of the original 1984 BAMBI committee where I wore glasses that covered my entire face (bright pink no less!) and I was wearing a skirt, the last time I think I wore one. Even Hab (as Dr. Tanit is known to make life easier!) attended the lecture, a huge honour for me to be sure, and afterwards, they both were able to give me a private tour of the birthing unit they had designed and been the driving force behind at the hospital. And of course, being Thai, we ate a huge lunch too after the lecture with members of the BAMBI committee! It's all about food in Thailand, as it should be since it's such great eats!

Do I have a point? I think so. We should never forget these people from our past and count ourselves lucky if we can meet up again, or indeed, make the effort to re-connect. It's not enough for me to lecture to parents that their kids need to 'keep in touch' with the people of their past. As adults, we need to as well. And I also told the group to make sure, if they have a Thai caregiver working for them looking after their own new Bangkok babies, to make sure to never lose touch with them either. I told those who had come to hear me speak that I was lucky enough to reconnect with Suporn, our Thai caregiver, only a year before she sadly died, prematurely, at 56 years of age from liver cancer. The fact that I could see her, show her pictures of Lilly, and most important of all, thank her for helping me as I started out on the road to motherhood (myself, without a mother), is something I will cherish and be grateful for, always.

The expatriate life is indeed one of privilege and a privileged life if we take full advantage of it. It can be hard work, and not just packing up moving boxes. It's work to maintain important friendships that will last a lifetime if nurtured....it's being able to 'go back' and find your younger self....It can also help you start something entirely new in your life, as my work on a newsletter for BAMBI (with my still very best friend Mary van der Boon, whose daughter Ally was born 3 weeks before Lilly) all those years ago did for me. (OK, Dr. Tanit had some influence as he asked me so nicely if I would help Mel on this new idea of a mothers groups and no way I could say no to him!) That work became the genesis for expatexpert.com, all the books I have since written, and my crazy idea of flying all over the place to put myself in front of expat audiences no matter where they are in the world to reassure them all will be well.

All will be well, however only with a lot of work...but also with the help of all the friends we make along the way. I've never forgotten that. So this is my last piece of advice for now. Stay in touch.

Southeast Asian speaking tour for Santa Fe Relocations was great!

2009-03-09T04:48:00.004-07:00

Despite still waking up every morning at 4:15 a.m. after four days back in Vancouver (it's hard to quickly shake off a 16 hour time difference between SEAsia and Vancouver I guess and throw in my utter exhaustion) but I'm alive and well after what truly was my biggest speaking tour yet! I seemed to have met the most expats on my journey, sold the most books ever (even ran out of them!) and probably spent more time in airplanes than ever before. That fear of flying of mine (really only the take off) still remains, as I tell my audiences, 'the flaw in my business plan'!

But I'm back safe and sound in Canada now (and it's snowing!!!!) and once I start to sleep until a somewhat normal hour (even to six a.m. would be heaven) I'm sure to get myself sorted out again. I have to normalize my working hours as I promised everyone I met to watch out for the re-issue of my first book about the culture shock of being the accompanying wife, first published in 1992, and now about to come out again revised with a new introduction, a new cover, even a new/old name: I'm going back to its original title: "A Broad Abroad: The Expat Wife's Guide to Successful Living Abroad"! It should be available at amazon by June at the latest...I will probably be working on it at 4:15 am if this early wakefulness keeps up!

The tour was superb, though, because the teams at Santa Fe Relocations on my various stops--Manila, Jakarta, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and Bangkok--were amazingly organized and so professional they made me feel like a visiting rock star! I didn't have to do much more besides stand and deliver my lectures on raising children abroad, relocating relationships and marriages, and of course, the dreaded subject of repatriation which expats still don't want to talk about! I'm so grateful for Santa Fe's assistance in sponsoring the five country tour. At various moments along the way, I wondered: how the heck did I do this by myself? Write and publish my books; mail or schlep them to wherever I was going; speak, sell and sign books while making change and hearing everyone's stories and concerns and on it goes. I certainly must have been younger when I did that!

So many thanks are owed to everyone who made the tour a success; to expats who came out in droves to hear the talks (the record was definitely the Garden School in Kuala Lumpur where other schools combined to form my biggest crowd of close to 200 and bought about 100 books before I could even stand up to speak!); to my Santa Fe 'handlers'; and to all the new friends I made along the way.

Watch this space for my traveler's tales because, as usual, I have a few to tell: most notably my trip down memory lane in Bangkok where I found the apartment we lived in over 25 years ago; had dinner with the folk who delivered and trained me for the delivery of my Bangkok 'baby' (now pushing 26!); even spoke to the mother's support group I helped get off the ground back in 1984 at the hospital (now hospital/venue complete with Starbucks!) where my daughter was born! That's a story to tell,a nostalgic one to be sure.

New Canadian citizenship rules impact children of Canadian TCKs

2009-01-27T14:26:00.005-08:00

If you are Canadian and gave birth or planning to give birth to any of your children while living overseas, please read this and pass the link along to any of your Canadian friends who did likewise.

Not enough for TCKs to wonder who they are, new citizenship rules which go into effect April 17th of this year from Citizenship and Immigration Canada are now going to have their children wondering what nationality they are.

Read these new rules carefully. To help you along, here is a key phrase you should look for in the section about 'Persons born or adopted outside of Canada' after the new rules go into effect:

“This means that children born in another country after the new law comes into effect will not be Canadian citizens by birth if they were born outside Canada to a Canadian parent who was also born outside Canada to a Canadian parent.”

Government bafflegab to be sure but essentially, it means that if you had your child abroad and gave him/her your Canadian citizenship, after April 17th, that same child cannot give their children the same Canadian citizenship unless they are born in Canada (and a few other rules thrown in for good measure). Given that a high percentage of children of expats are born abroad and TCKs have a propensity for living and working abroad in adulthood, there’s a pretty good chance your grandchildren (if you’re old like me) or your children (if you are a TCK reading this) will also be born outside of Canada.

The head of the Canadian Expat Association Allan Nichols and I have been working together to get as much clarity as possible on these changes since I was alerted via a posting on my Facebook site by Valerie Bolduc of Ottawa. She had been reading an article published yesterday about these new complex citizenship laws in the Toronto Globe and Mail. Now, we are all trying to reach as many Canadians, Canadian clubs and chambers as possible.

Also unclear from the get-go (besides that convoluted language above) are the exemptions. It says in the rules that children of Canadian diplomats, military or any other personnel of the Canadian government born abroad are exempt. But when Mr. Nichols called Ottawa yesterday to get some answers, he was told that even diplomatic families will not be immune if one of the spouses was born outside of Canada. If this is indeed true (they are so confused it would seem in Ottawa) it would mean that a Canadian foreign service officer, a Canadian ambassador, indeed anyone who served Canada abroad but chose to marry a non-Canadian, may not have Canadian grandchildren!

So, what can you do?

For starters, send this link onto everyone you know who is Canadian with children born abroad or thinking about it. Don't forget, they may even be back living in Canada now. It doesn’t matter. Help educate other Canadians and stress the urgency for action of clarity.

Second, watch this blog for updates as Mr. Nichols and I are both on the case and engaging as many people as possible to gather information including the Canadian Employee Relocation Council. A power point presentation illustrating the fallout of this Byzantine movement by the government has been assembled by Mr. Nichols and is available to view through this link.

Third, and most important: Write to the Immigration Minister Jason Kenney, right now and demand clarity and answers. His e-mail address is Minister@cic.gc.ca and the mailing address is The Honourable Jason Kenney, P.C.,M.P, Citizenship and Immigration Canada, Ottawa, Ontario K1A 1L1. Remember this goes into affect on April 17th so write to him now! Time is of the essence.

Mr. Nichols explains in his presentation why the government is changing the existing laws, but it is clear, that innocent fish are being caught in a net designed to close loopholes. More to come a we know it, but please, act now.